My daughter is into sports and recently she got enrolled in after-school sports program which actually means two things. One is good and one is bad.
Good thing that her abundant energy finds a way to be utilised positively and bad coz I’m imagining myself looking at a few more bruises, skinned knees (as if there weren’t enough already! & yes this happens to be the same child who broke her arm by falling off the monkey bars 2 years ago, sigh!) anyways, so I was telling you how sporty she is.
Yesterday as she sat next to me in the evening as usual sharing a detailed account of how her day went and all that.. you know little things like who sat next to her during the test and how that happened to be an unpleasant experience coz he/she kept looking at her sheets and that how she rolled her eyes a couple times to convey her displeasure..I asked who that child was, to which she replied, “sorry! I don’t wanna be a dibber-dobber”. 🙂 I’m happy she’s learning good things.
But all this time, as she talked nonstop, she was most interested in scraping the newly formed crusty layer on her latest knee wound and there were tiny droplets of blood oozing out…😖
That’s the thing about her playing sports that I do not like, she gets bruised easily, endures soo many grazes but *doesnt* let them heal or fall off naturally. She would sit and scratch them, expose the would to a potential infection, scream a little in the process and I’m like what can i do 🤷♀️..
Someday I’m certain she will learn that in order to heal quickly, you’ve to leave the would alone for a while, as if it doesn’t even exist!
We, as adults do the same you know. We have a unique way of hurting our own selves. There’s this place within each one of us we keep going back to. It’s so stuffy in there you can’t even stay longer but ironically you can’t help but peep into it every once in a while. You can’t get rid of it coz its within you, and is automatically getting transported to wherever you go.
It’s a place housing feelings of resentment, unforgiveness, hopes of vengeance so that scores are even and the field levelled.
You keep picking the crust off the wound and you never allow yourself to heal or forget what happened to you or whoever wronged you.
Someone hurt you once… but you hurt yourself again and again & ..yet again.
To me, Forgiveness is a decision that sometimes takes longer than expected and the time in between is where you either “grow or shrink.”
Grow as someone who knows that I have to restore the damage by *not* scratching the wound and allowing time to do the healing. It doesn’t mean you make amends with the wrong doer, it simply means you leave it upto God and move on. He’s the best of Judges. Try to forget about it n’ hopefully forgiveness should follow or it can be the otheway round for some, forgive & forget that is.
And shrink in the sense that you let the negativity *owerpower* you, mould you and change you for worse. You keep thinking about the person you used to be and feel stuck chronically. Hence going back and scratching the wound and never letting the new skin to take over.
Holding on to resentment is exactly like drinking slow poison that makes your heart go weaker by the day. Navigating through wounds/grief isn’t easy but it’s not impossible either. Ask Allah to take care of your affairs and don’t let someone else’s wrong doing change your outlook on life.
Reach out to that hidden place inside, grab the ziplock bag that has kept feelings of hurt still raw and fresh.. and chuck it into the bin! You’ll do tons of good to your mind, body and spirit.
If you think the post is long and you’ve scrolled down to read the bottom line, this is for you.
1- Accept that you have a wound. You can’t go back to pre-wound state just as yet.
2-Clean the wound. Cry/share/get it off your chest!
3-Apply antiseptic and dress your wound. Take care of yourself by disconnecting with the source of wound and further harm.
4- Let time take its time to heal. Pray. Don’t go back and scratch, excercise patience.
5-Once the bandage is off, the scar might serve as a reminder of your pre-scar state and cause some hurt but accept it as a sign of recovery that you were strong enough to sustain it and God allowed you to heal.
6- Smile, move on…& repeat.
The fact that there will be more scars and more injuries as long as there’s life, will not change but what should change is, *you* and your *attitude* towards them.
Wishing you peace. 💕